NEW MAAKIES!!! How to drink gracefully…

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24 Responses to NEW MAAKIES!!! How to drink gracefully…

  1. Jeff Flowers says:

    Sounds like a good way to spend the day.

  2. Alan says:

    Instant classic.

  3. RubberCrutch says:

    Tony, for awhile I thought your relationship with alcohol was part of a performance art personality fabricated for marketing purposes. A strip like this tells me that I must have been wrong. Fills me with conflicting feelings about what you give us and what it must cost you. Hopefully I’m “all wet” about this and it’s really it’s all just a greasy brown paper wrapper tailored to partially conceal a sensitive guy. (Not a chance, though; I read the German nightclub story in the art book.)

    • TonyMillion says:

      I have had a love affair with booze since it liberated me in high school. Suddenly I was able to talk to people; drunkenly, but that was better than the waterfall of shyness which dumped itself on me till I was 17. This strip represents the state of the affair during my teens and early 20s. I soon learned that drinking in the morning caused vomiting and exhaustion after the lovely nap. During my 30s and 40s I learned to drink at night and on weekends only. This landed me in jail and into fist fights in the tough bars and streets of Boston and Berlin. Since, I have learned to drink only when drawing or driving or watching TV, only after 4:30 pm , and only beer. This often results in hangovers, and in the case of driving, I try very hard not to drink too much beer before I get home, which is usually before 11 pm. Then, the deluge.
      The consumption of alcohol must be controlled, otherwise horror will rule the day.
      Do not follow my example about driving after drinking beer, it is a roulette game with the loser bringing despair and tragedy to all around him.

      • Katey says:

        I’m not ready to live in a world without Tony Millionaire in it. So take care.

      • that1guy says:

        Your tale is familiar, Tony. However, my “imbibing” has since last December been completely eliminated by that curse of middle-aged males, an enlarged prostate.

        Although this at first did not deter my enthusiastic nightly consumption of beer, it ultimately led to, of all things, a herniated bladder due to chronic unrelieved pressure (which, based on my sensory feedback, averaged approximately 150 PSI).

        Needless to say, my wife can scarcely conceal her elation at the serendipitous benefits (to her) of my medical condition. However, I anticipate a surgery in the near future that will restore my former vitality in order to correspondingly satisfy my need to kill off the many, many brain cells whose activity remains a constant annoyance. If necessary, I’ve requested that the doctor merely install a small, strategically-located spigot and associated PVC plumbing in order to avoid the effects of any future failures of my frail original equipment.

        (I mention all this only as possible source material for the strip!)

      • Ricky says:

        I really can’t drink and draw. Even after a couple beers. And I’m not a light drinker!

  4. Goofy Gorilla says:

    This reminds me of the Royksopp song “The Alcoholic,” which explores I think the same idea through Norwegian techno-pop.

  5. Katey says:

    So beautiful and so wrong. Where does this guilt originate?

    And why does it have to compete with my “I don’t drink before sunset” self assurance? The more you enjoy it the more you doubt it. Philosophy in a bottle.

    Tony, I need a Mr Crow in the same position as my robin (coming in for a landing) for a tattoo on my right arm. All I can offer is my services as a printer and meals at the Agawam Diner if you’re ever in the area. (I’ve already spent $300 on a tattoo this month and am giving up payroll hours to take continuing ed classes… pity please!)

    • TonyMillion says:

      What? You want my permission to make a tattoo? Ermm… OK!

      • TonyMillion says:

        Send the liver and onions dinner with spinach, but only if it comes with spinach.

      • Katey says:

        I was implying that you’d draw it but since then I’ve remembered that I have a BFA and can probably manage it myself. I got an absolutely epic (aka expenisve) chickadee tattoo on Friday so its going to be a bit before I get another, it seems.

  6. TonyMillion says:

    Also, print me up a couple of forms, wills, rental agreements etc.

  7. Katey says:

    Tony I just wanted to brag that today (yesterday) was my birthday and I had a completely wonderful pleasant day and got home late and found that my roommate had left me a home made Drinky Crow card and a bottle of Crowne Royale on the kitchen counter. I love this world.

    • TonyMillion says:

      What a great day! That was my dog’s birthday too, We made her a meat birthday cake, she was very happy. Send pictures!

  8. Paul MacDonald says:

    Drinking is only an art if it evolves humanity ! take at least 2 weeks pay on friday ,run off with money. Drink so much , that death from alcohol poisoning , or choking on your vomit ( or somebody elses, as the preferred method of some dead rock stars) is a real possibility Be sure to buy rounds for the other bums! then when all your dough is exhausted ,this could take a day depending, then go home to your hysterical wife and starving ,crying children and feed off the energy of their misery !also try to bed the wife as soon as you get home hung over, broke, be stubbled and reeking with booze and vomit breath. Enjoy!

  9. Paul MacDonald says:

    Yes, yes I am a genius, I just haven’t found work yet!

  10. Stefan Jones says:

    Thank you for making the strip image nice and big. For a while there I wasn’t bothering to read them here because they were so darn small.

    Now I check back and find not only big, readable Maakies strips, but cool bonus Millionaire goodness!

  11. TonyMillion says:

    Yes, that’s been a problem for a while. I’m still figuring this thing out though, I still want to clear some things up.

  12. John M. says:

    I love whiskey. I love when it hits me just right and it makes my toes buzz. I spent many days 10 to 20 years ago developing my relationship with whiskey, including many a morning very similar to the one you describe here. I had to give it up, though, mostly. Although I enjoyed its company, I found that other people didn’t like to be around me very much, and after a few years I couldn’t take the isolation from other people, especially women. So wine on weekday nights and beer on Friday. I still love whiskey, and cigarettes, too for that matter. If I ever lose my most beloved humans I will surely go back to my affair with them, probably until the end.

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