Sleep on your side or abdomen rather than on your back. Sleeping on your back can cause your tongue and soft palate to rest against the back of your throat and block your airway. To prevent sleeping on your back, try sewing a tennis ball in the back of your pajama top.

Try a glass dildo up your ass.

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10 Responses to SNORING

  1. TonyMillion says:

    Once I gave a girlfriend a birthday present. My artist friend “Zesty” was a glass blower and he sold me a hollow glass dildo. I filled it with water and put a live goldfish in there. I put it under her pillow and took her out to dinner. That night I turned off the light and shoved the dildo into her cunt, she really got going! After she was sated, I lit a romantic candle and she pulled out the dildo to find a dead, white, bloated goldfish in the dildo.

  2. Do not take snoring advice from this man (Tony Millionaire). As soon as he goes to sleep he proceeds to forget all his own advice, sounds like a roof air conditioner on top of the Hyatt with hundreds of pigeons dying inside it.

  3. A glass dildo, how exciting, but if it should shatter during penetration?


  4. Cubelodyte says:

    I learn so many interesting things from this site.

  5. RubberCrutch says:

    The illustration looks like it comes from a medical booklet about obstructive sleep apnea. I’d pay $100 (figuratively speaking only, of course) for legitimate documentation of anybody who sleeps with a fucking tennis ball sewn into his jammie tops. For people with arthritic shoulders or jacked-up rotator cuffs, side sleeping isn’t feasible. I highly recommend a sleep study for the sufferer, and upon diagnosis of obstructive apnea, acquisition of a CPAP machine. For a mask, I recommend the “nose pillows.”

  6. Curtis says:

    I went to your website to distract myself from studying for my linguistics exam, and you wrote about the tongue and soft palate, which we’ve been learning in class. Thanks for being an unintentionally responsible uncle by telling me to get back to studying.

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