True Stories from the Life of Tony

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27 Responses to True Stories from the Life of Tony

  1. Nic Farra says:

    Check out a Punch cartoon from 1895 entitled ‘True Humility’. It shows the curate, Mr Jones, straining to finish his boiled egg while rather nervously breakfasting with the Bishop and his wife. The Bishop says, ‘I’m afraid you’ve got a bad egg, Mr Jones.’ The curate anxiously replies, ‘Oh no, my Lord, I assure you, parts of it are excellent.’

    Hippies, curates, all the same to me.

    My mum had a visit from a curate while we were in the midst of packing up and leaving the farm. The chooks had gone a bit feral and were roosting in the tree by the lawn. In the middle of afternoon tea one chook that had eluded mum for ages lit on the lawn and started picking its way across. Without a word mum got the gun down from the rack, opened the window and popped it through the eye. Then she re-racked the gun and carried on with afternoon tea. The curate didn’t stay long after that.

  2. mike whybark says:

    funny!

    My wife gew up in Laguna Beach in the 70s and she is full of stories of how terrified she was of the hippies, how they lived in sand caves, how they ate their young, that sort of thing.

    • TonyMillion says:

      I was one of those hippies!! Remember the beach swimming race when the hippy/bum’s favorite, “Moses,” with his skinny body and long black hair swam like a champion against the muscular beach boys. He couldn’t even finish the race, but he got halfway! How we celebrated, we took him on our shoulders, Our Champion Loser! Must have been 1975 or 76. Ask her!

    • TonyMillion says:

      We didn’t live in caves, we lived in the hills, in sleeping bags or bedrolls, under the bleachers at the schools, but NEVER get caught sleeping on the beach or you spend a weekend in jail.

      • TonyMillion says:

        Ate our young?? What young, we didn’t have hardly any women!

        • Mike whybark says:

          She was afeared. She woulda been, what, twelve I guess. It must be noted I retroactively mock her fear. She laughed when I showed her the strip.

          She *totally* mentioned the cave thing again too. Apparently you guys generated urban (suburban? villagean?) legends among the elementary school set.

          I will be delighted to pass along news of hippies snoring peacefully away beneath the bleachers at the high school, especially as that means you had to walk up the street in front of her house. :)

          Did you hang out with The Greeter, that old dude that waved at cars near Main Beach?

          • TonyMillion says:

            I’m getting a foggy memory. I have had no one to help me remember any of this for decades. My friend Danny died of bum-ness, and I never had any contact with any of them again. So she’s my only thread of contact to that time.

      • Random Interloper says:

        I’m just about to go ride my bike in those very hills. Used to skip school to hang out at Farenheit 451 and Sound Spectrum. Man Laguna had changed…

  3. Justin says:

    Such a nice story.

    That’s the most appealingly drawn KFC.

    I feel like I should drive down to Laguna Beach, admire the boats & night sky, then grab some fried chicken.

  4. Bristow says:

    This one’s so finger lickin’ good it’s disgusting!

    Funny… only a tight-knit group of hippies would think of bumming money for some wine during a crisis. Wait! I do it all the time.

  5. John M. says:

    DUMPSTER GRAVY! Ha ha! When I was a punk rocker and a bum I actually gained weight because of all the dumpstered McDonald’s I ate. I think they lock all that shit up now.

  6. sneed says:

    And where was R. Crumb at the time?

  7. Pandy says:

    Did you always walk around with your arms crossed so sternly?

  8. knuclear200x says:

    Throw it away?! Why don’t they just bring some home? I would, but I would still leave enough for some hippies.

  9. jwbalsley says:

    “Chicken!” Love it!

  10. boyantcerealandme says:

    KFC Chicken. Mr. Millionaire, you might suffer from RAS syndrome.

  11. Luke says:

    Tony these strips are tenfold as enjoyable with your little anecdotal comments. I enjoyed this, thank you.

    • TonyMillion says:

      Thank you. I will anecdote more. Many strips are based on real stories. I am an interesting person, because when any sensible person would have said, “I think I won’t do that,” I generally went forward. I am fascinating.

  12. Bob Shiller says:

    I like TM`s anecdoting. More I say! MORE!! We need interesting and fascinating persons to live vicariously off of!

    Scream it from the rooftops:
    TONY MILLIONAIRE IS INTERESTING AND FASCINATING! ! !
    hip
    hip
    hoorah

  13. I went to high school in Laguna Beach circa 1987-1991. One time I went into Underdog Records (RIP), a punk record store (not far from the KFC), and a small tv in the corner was playing a porno featuring celebrities caught on tape in porno situations (Chuck Berry — or was it Little Richard? — farting & pissing on a girl, etc). This was before sex tapes, before internet. The owner of UR drank Newcastle and had all his empties lining all the walls of the store. Great place. More stories. Drunk in the sand caves, etc.

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