NEW JUNK

I’m just finishing up Billy Hazelnuts 3, then Fantagraphics will be releasing all three together as a single three story book.

BILLY HAZELNUTS

PARTURITION – DUTY – QUIETUS

 

Working on the Sock Monkey movie with some very fancy Hollywood Big Shots

 

Plowing into a new graphic novel, “Drinky Crow Spills the Beans on Tony Millionaire ~ His True Tales”

 

 

 

MAAKIES: DRINKY CROW DRINKS AGAIN  by Tony Millionaire, designed by Jacob Covey and published by Fantagraphics. 200 ALL NEW strips, and lots of drawings. Please check your local comics stores, it’s fun and you never know what you’ll find on the shelves.

If you live in the boonies, GET IT HERE: https://www.amazon.com/Drinky-Crow-Drinks-Again-Millionaire/dp/1606999346

Drinky Crow Drinks Again

Contact me at millionaire@mindspring.com

 

Comments (132)

  1. Frère Jacques

    Reply

    Maakies is okay but I prefer “Brother Juniper”. Can you draw Brother Juniper? My sibling once asked me what was the difference between gin and vodka and I replied ” Juniper, Brother.” We laughed very hard. I like Brother Juniper

  2. E C

    Reply

    Hey Mr Millionaire (and I do mean Mr) – I am trying to remember which collection the strip where Gabby says “I’m not gay…but my hiney is!” is in. Do you know, or better yet have a digitized copy of the strip? It conveys an important life lesson. Thanks!

  3. Brandon from Cambridge

    Reply

    We just moved to the North Shore. Is this the boonies or do you have a place up here you recommend picking up your latest book?

  4. EricF

    Reply

    Speaking of….
    Mother fuck that Stephan Pastis
    Fuck you in the ass you talentless mother fuck
    Shaggy dog stories are examples of lazy writing that insults the reader.
    Fuck You
    Fuck You
    Fuck You!

      • Anonymous

        Reply

        Stephan Pastis might be a very fine funny fellow, but ‘Pearls Before Swine’ sucks big fat sweaty donkey cocks.
        ‘Pearls Before Swine’ is one of the most God awful comic strips ever written.
        I keep reading it every day hoping it will have some redeeming value.
        Every single day it disappoints me.
        It is so unfunny it is an affront to humanity.
        In the past five years I have laughed out loud more times reading fucking
        ‘Beetle Bailey’ than I have Pastis’ comic.
        And ‘Beetle Bailey’ sucks enormously swollen camel balls.
        So I will clarify my statement.

        Mother Fuck ‘Pearls Before Swine’.
        Fuck you in the ass ‘Pearls Before Swine’.
        FUCK YOU
        FUCK YOU
        FUCK YOU!

          • I’m going with the discipline at home thing too.The teacher’s job is to maintain discipline within the classroom, but it’s the parents job to discipline the child. You are the constant in her life, and she is going to look to you for that kind of guidance. There has to be continuity there. My son has always known, if you get in trouble at school, you are in more trouble at home. If you get &#;a808pr2isesࢭ at school, more will come at home.

  5. EricF

    Reply

    I like looking at ‘Family Guy’ porn. I mean, I don’t find it arousing in any way, I just find it incredibly funny.
    It’s everything ‘Family Guy’ wants to be, but isn’t. They want to appeal to the most basest of common denominators, but
    because of the limits of acceptable TV they will never be able to. Appealing to the most basest of Human common
    denominators is only funny when it is taken to its most logical extreme. This is why Mr. Millionaire’s work is such genius.
    Just my $0.02.

    • Mauris Odio

      Reply

      It must be refreshing to do a strip that cannot be edited. Unfortunately that may be why he is in approximately 1 paper at present.

      • EricF

        Reply

        Yea, because Tony dreams of having his strip right between ‘For Better or Worse’ and ‘Pearls before swine’.
        What a cock sucking moron you are Mauris Odio.
        You are another dipshit I would like to shoot in the balls with a large caliber handgun.
        Fuck you

  6. EricF

    Reply

    No, M the Fuckface, pretty much everybody hates you. People hate you because you behave like a ten year old. If you are not over 18 then fuck off the site. This site is intended for adults.

  7. M the Magnificent

    Reply

    The fancy diner is named Wachtel’s. Like the boat, it is almost a signature or imprimatur.
    Forgot to mention that, but my memory and other fuzz-outs…

  8. Fred

    Reply

    Can you please please direct me to the one you did several years ago involving a coonskin hat, an outhouse and a sting in the balls?

  9. M Otis Beard

    Reply

    Tony,

    Lunch this afternoon was grand; thanks for the good company. I’m going back on the road Monday for at least three weeks, but I’ll be in and out of town fairly regularly from now on, and look forward to getting together again.

    M OTIS BEARD

    • Millionaire

      Reply

      You are a wonderful person, Beard, even with the pink goatee. You are a real coxcomb, a popinjay.

  10. Laurel

    Reply

    Are there going to be more Drinky Crow shows or where can your comics be found? My husband and I love that series.

  11. Reply

    One of the many, many unassigned but apparently mandatory duties all Boomers must perform prior to our impending grisly and puke-inducing demise is to try to sort out what the fuck our lives were about for some odd reason, as if life were obligated to have a plot line, script, an accompanying score, a climax then across the sky is written the words “The End.” It is a one-time luxury to savour being able to do so when you consider how mindlessly dangerous our teen and young adult lives were. When I see re-runs of That Seventies Show or The Wonder Years I feel like twisting those shows’ executive producers’ heads off then ramming them up their arses.

    The Dooley Dooley cartoon reminds me of my first and last AA meeting invite back in the 1980’s. After the usual litany of war stories hilariously devoid of any shred of remorse I raised my hand when the group leader got ready to start the closing prayer bit. I asked “Just curious, but how many of you guys are eldest sons?” About 75 or 80 percent out of the 90-odd court-ordered attendees raised their hand.

    Did you spend any quality time as a kid trying to kill off your little brother, I wonder? I know I did. It just made him tougher but perhaps that is the entire point of being the oldest son, one of our hard-wired design parameters. I know lots of our species and genus and it is the same story every time. Nature is a crafty old whore, isn’t she?

    But dash it all, Carruthers, what’s it all for?

  12. M the Magnificent

    Reply

    Comment #90
    Your latest strip, again about dogs, again focused on something negative about dogs: scent glands. Dr. Herriot, in his “All creatures great & small” books mentioned regular visits to a woman whose mis-bred dog had chronic scent gland problems (blockage). I can’t see why surgical removal of these glands can’t be done.

    Dogs are often made to wear collars because they selfishly lick off medication. (one guy dressed his big dog in his own clothes, and made the animal look like a dog-headed man. Dog would otherwise lick off medication. )

    • Millionaire

      Reply

      Vets want to curt off my dog’s ass glands, but I can’t afford it now.

  13. Reply

    Hi Tony,
    as I told you I’m working on a series of tables, and well, I’d like to put you in as a fiction character. It would take long to explain here (it’s part of a very complex story), and besides I’d rather talk about it via private message. If I give you my e-mail could you please contact me? I’ll be glad to tell you the whole thing in details, especially the part of the script concerning you.
    Have a nice day,
    Umberto M.

  14. Kent

    Reply

    Tony,
    Many full moons ago, I was surprised at Christmas with my favorite Black dook, dook, dook, Drinky Crow T Shirt….however years of not drinking and for the life of me cannot find my fave Alcy bird. If you somehow see it proper to resurrect the double large black Drinky shirt, I would love to be the first to know. Thanks….

  15. John M

    Reply

    But your teeth didn’t kill your friend, right? Your teeth hitting him couldn’t have been the only injury for a non-seat-belted person in a 50 MPH head-on crash. He must have hit the dashboard or the tree, didn’t he? A skull is a lot harder than a kid’s teeth, isn’t it? I’m not trying to quibble with your factual account. I just have been moved by your cartoon into a perhaps inappropriate level of concern about whatever load of guilt you are apparently carrying around. It wasn’t your fault! Which I’m sure you know. Sorry to emote all over your comments section. Thank you for this powerful comic.

    • EricF

      Reply

      You are correct. People in this situation used to almost always die regardless of whether someone was in the back seat or not. What would happen is that the person in the front seat would hit their head on the windshield, breaking their neck and killing them. Not someone hitting them from behind. Not even in this gruesome scenario.

      • Millionaire

        Reply

        It was good for the story. It’s impossible to reach the intense emotion of the day.

  16. M the Magnificent

    Reply

    Judging by the violent pictures. I can’t see how you or your bro survived such a crash. Driver underage, reckless (but not wreckless) driving, passengers hurled through the windshield.).

    Unlike you, I took no needless risks,

  17. red harmony

    Reply

    Chrissie Hynde has a new autobiography out that clearly states how deeply influential S Clay Wilson’s work was to those of us growing up when it was coming out. I wish he was in a position to appreciate her appreciation.

      • M the MAGNIFICENT

        Reply

        Just that none of them are the kind of people I would allow in my house. !
        Or on my TV programs.

    • Millionaire

      Reply

      He was beloved, knew it, but was frustrated about money. I bought a drawing from him, it’s amazing.

    • red harmony

      Reply

      Who cares what you care for? You’re a mere shadow compared to Chrissie Hynde.

  18. M the Magnificent

    Reply

    In re 9-17.
    I did not click on the dog doodoo strip, because I really do NOT like dog behavior. Also they do not live long. 15-20 years is too short and some breeds live far shorter . I tired of pet mice because they are past their prime at 1 (one) and the longest mouse I had, lived but 3 years.(the best one). Same for hamsters.

  19. maria

    Reply

    You are fabulous! Absolutely fabululous. U r a millionaire yet? I sure hope so. Money isn,t everything hut it,s way ahead of whatever,s in second place. Ha ha. I kill me

  20. JohnnyGeo

    Reply

    Tony, you’ve done this one before, right? (“a bit of the pup”). Still funny, though.
    If you are reworking any others, may I request “I am searching for the perfect feeling” and the brain-freeze one?

  21. EricF

    Reply

    AND, on a completely unrelated tangent, STOP giving money to M. Night Shyamalan to make movies. ‘The Sixth Sense’ was a decent film, but every thing after that has gotten progressively worse. OK, ‘Signs’ is soooo bad it may qualify as ‘Classically Bad’. I mean Ed Wood bad.

  22. M the Magnificent

    Reply

    7-21.
    Ted 2. Having started to read the wiki synopsis of Ted 2, I was turned off. I haven’t even seen Ted 1.
    Also the subway ads for ted 2 are obscene.

    • EricF

      Reply

      Obscene would be good if he were funny, but he is not.
      There is a special place in Hell for completely talentless fuck faces like you that fool people into thinking you are funny, Mr McFarlane.
      Fuck you, Mr McFarlane. Fuck you.

      • M the Magnificent

        Reply

        Pardon me, Mr.EricF -my name is not McFarlane. You know nothing about me.

      • M the Magnificent

        Reply

        Eric is a nice name, and so is McFarlane, BUT you know zilch nada about me .

        • EricF

          Reply

          No, Mr M, you are not Seth Mcfarlane. Seth McFarlane is Seth McFarlane.
          Read the understrip on ‘MAAKIES share the road’. Seth McFarlane is the Fucktard that wrote the Movies ‘Ted’ and ‘Ted 2’.
          He is the “he” and “you” I was referring to. Sorry for the confusion.

          • Millionaire

            I am not a fan of Ted McFarlaine. will say no more.
            Or did I?

  23. KingAdrock

    Reply

    Tony, your work is brilliant and I want to give you lots of my monies in exchange for cool Maakies/Drinky Crow stuff. So WHY U NO have cool stuff like t-shirts, posters or books for sale? I need more Drinky Crow in my life. Please provide me a place to transfer the contents of my bank account into yours.

    • Millionaire

      Reply

      Stoners looked at it and says, “What’s with the bird? He’s just some alky.” Not enough hipsters appreciate booze humor.

  24. Ben

    Reply

    I hate when your site goes down for months at a time. But my father recently visited me and he love your books that he found in my apartment.

  25. Marie

    Reply

    I do always so enjoy sock monkey news, and I love this site. You’ve so much to do I know you have your hands full with work and family However, if I sent you an e-mail would you have a moment to read it? Yes, I asked.

    • Firsttimelongtime

      Reply

      Its weird and it sucks. Your strip was what it was, I can see some people being offended but it IS Maakies, it hasn’t changed. CP was bought last year by the Baltimore Sun and I can’t help but feel it was a corporate decision. Thats bad, but whats worse is CP and Serps playing the “high and mighty morality judge” of the whole thing instead of acknowledging their orders. I guess Savage Love is next. A bad sign for the paper and the city.
      I’m a big fan, btw, thanks for all your work.

        • cliffaaex

          Reply

          Wait. Evan is jonesing on the post-fiasco commentary? Deeply disturbing.

          • Drewjube

            Free paper? You get what you pay for.

            And if this milquetoast is offended by you, he’ll have a conniption when he finds out John Waters hails from Charm City.

        • John M

          Reply

          Editors almost never know anything about comics, and this dipshit is no exception. But what a twerp with his “It’s time for the millenials to stand up and smash sexism” crap. As if he is taking a courageous stand against a powerful foe, rather than cowardly trashing a work of art for fear of offending his Facebook friends. A 40-year-old twerp. Also, I love his appropriation of M.Trudeau’s term “punching down.” The only one doing any punching down is Evan attempting to punch down his tiny little erection, thinking about what a hero he is to his 20-something girl writers.

      • Millionaire

        Reply

        Baltimore Sun didn’t pass down any orders. This is Serpick making all this publicity for me. I was called a raging fuckface. This is working out perfectly.

    • Eric F

      Reply

      Political correctness wins again.
      I fucking hate everything PC.
      And anytime anyone says that they are ‘offended’ there should only be one of a various
      number of responses, such as; Fuck off, Who fucking cares?, Get over it, Grow up, So what?, etc.

      • Millionaire

        Reply

        Political Correctness is GOOD! It means not being an asshole. But sometimes it goes too far, especially in reaction to comedy.

        • EricF

          Reply

          Political Correctness prevents us from substituting hostility with humor and therefore it is the antithesis of humor and therefore Evil.
          Sometimes it is good to be an Asshole. It depends on who you are being an asshole to.

    • Red Harmony

      Reply

      The general opinion is “Who gives a fuck what they think?” They are a city whose cops kill its citizens. Maybe you should honor them with a cartoon about that. THAT would be politically incorrect.
      Maakies is back online, and I’m happy as a clam that got drunk and punched his wife in the eye. Thank you, Tony, thank you.

  26. Roy

    Reply

    Lots of great work!

    Some of the thumbnails in the Books section take you to the wrong image

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